George Lucas trying to swallow his neck through his neck.

Famous German writer Goiter’s masterpiece Faust is about the nine layers of George Lucas’ neck.

“Goiter? I barely know her!” is a common joke in George Lucas’ neck household.

No need to worry, George Lucas does not have a goiter. It is merely a benign pustual sack of goo-juice that might give birth to some sort of multi-dimensional space demon. So don’t worry.

In response to concerns about whether we at George Lucas’ Neck are poking fun at a possible goiter: No person, we repeat, NO person, would be able to survive such a severe lack of iodine.

Then again… No head could withstand such a neck.

The following programming has been modified to fit George Lucas’ neck.

George Lucas subsists entirely on a diet of bowling balls.

Not for nutrition, just to see if he can. (He totally can.)

George Lucas is confused as to why his body didn’t win “Best Supporting Actor” for its tireless years of supporting his neck.

George Lucas struggles to swallow a bean bag.

“George, I think those people over there are making fun of your neck.”

“What, those people over there?”

“No, George… No, straight ahead, over there.”

“Those people, C3PO? Who the fuck is making fun of my neck?”

“George, just… just turn your head and look…

“What?”

“Just turn your… Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Shit, I’m so –”

“C3PO. Damn it. You know I can’t…”

“I know, George. Shit.”

George Lucas looks cocky because he remembers that old wives tale: “The bigger the neck…”

If I say I’m a neck man, you’ll agree.

Cover photo of Les Neque Pour Les Hommes magazine.