George Lucas, repeatedly violating a franchise whose prime has long since passed?
Sounds to me like some neckrophilia.
No need to worry, George Lucas does not have a goiter. It is merely a benign pustual sack of goo-juice that might give birth to some sort of multi-dimensional space demon. So don’t worry.
In response to concerns about whether we at George Lucas’ Neck are poking fun at a possible goiter: No person, we repeat, NO person, would be able to survive such a severe lack of iodine.
Then again… No head could withstand such a neck.
George Lucas subsists entirely on a diet of bowling balls.
Not for nutrition, just to see if he can. (He totally can.)
George Lucas is confused as to why his body didn’t win “Best Supporting Actor” for its tireless years of supporting his neck.
Every time George Lucas eats a grape, it ferments over the course of the months it takes to travel down his neck.
Because of this, he is perpetually drunk.
(This explains why everything he does is shitty.)
George Lucas joyfully weeps after an interviewer finally brings the microphone up to his mouth, rather than his neck.
“George, I think those people over there are making fun of your neck.”
“What, those people over there?”
“No, George… No, straight ahead, over there.”
“Those people, C3PO? Who the fuck is making fun of my neck?”
“George, just… just turn your head and look…
“What?”
“Just turn your… Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“Shit, I’m so –”
“C3PO. Damn it. You know I can’t…”
“I know, George. Shit.”
